My apology letter.

Apologizing is a way to express your remorse by saying the most overrated word SORRY. I would’ve said underrated but nowadays people don’t really believe when I try to apologize and want that word “SORRY” to be more precisely said to them. If not, the other person doesn’t really feels that I am guilty.
So here’s an apology letter, for all you guys whom I’ve interacted with and moreover who’ve been a part of my life at any point.

I am whole heartedly sorry.

Sorry for all those expectations which I left incomplete. Maybe I never tried enough to be upto the mark.
Those unreplied texts, those unanswered calls and those cancelled plans by me whenever I didn’t feel like responding, hold a strong grudge in your heart and a reparation in mine.

Sorry, for the anxiety of mine that bought the most hurtful words on your plate. But I am addicted to the madness because it satisfied me on my worst days.

Sorry, for complaining about the stupidest things to you.
Those cramps on my periods? Maybe I was not strong enough to handle it alone.
Those moments of despair I shared with you? I know how worried you were. Maybe I should have faced them all alone rather than nagging you.
Those complains about the problems in my life were all a box of tensions gifted by me to you and I regret it. I am just the daughter of sadness.

Sorry for always contradicting my statements. Maybe I was always a liar.
That material I borrowed from you and never returned even after promising? I should be a bluff.
That moment when I told you I would be there in 10 minutes and showed up after half an hour; I was just always lazy and irresponsible.
All those promises that I broke shows how miscreant I always was.
Sorry for that.

Sorry for always failing in my attempts to do something right, maybe I didn’t ever gave my level best to anything. How foolish I could be right?

Sorry for always being a grumpy little kid and making it hard for you to make me smile. And this kid in me aways stole that last peice of cake for myself, maybe I was always selfish.

Sorry for the days I always left you hanging. Maybe I was a born chiseler.

Sorry for bleeding and staining your hands when you were slitting my throat. I was the worst mess.

Sorry for not being a easy person to love, maybe I was just born to be hated.

I don’t have any vindication for what I have done so far, but trust me I really feel nasty about myself. Oh wait, I forgot I can’t even be easily trusted after doing that all.

They say when you accidently break a glass and say sorry to it, it doesn’t repair itself to be normal again. So the word sorry is just not worth it.
And also, you lose the true value of a word when repeated constantly. So apparently I fail again in my attempt to apologize. Maybe I will never be good enough. Maybe I am a born deceiver.
Ps: Never ever apologize for being yourself and doing something that you feel is right.
You will always end up failing in this attempt because it’s the nature’s way of saying you’re not at fault for being your own little self. 

Dark is the new bright.

Slowly getting up in the dawn realising light breaking the darkness in front of my eyes, I feel secured to have blessed a new day by the Almighty. I slowly draw the curtain to let the dusty sunlight into my room.
I start my day and continue with my daily routine. I step out of my home and walk towards my college. I realise I sunned myself and feel a warm blanket around me, as it is one of those winter mornings where you feel cold as ice in the dawn but experience prickly heat in the afternoon. I think of playing with the sun the peek-a-boo way and suddenly start staring at the bright rising sun which I obviously can’t do for a long time. As I move my eyes away from the closest star of earth I experience a darkness in front of my eyes which turns into normality afterwards. I attend my few lectures and decide to bunk the latter one’s to spend some “me-time”. I head towards a sea side and sit calmly staring at the waves whilst they crash with the boulders. As time passes by, I notice the sun slowly bidding goodbye. At first I feel a warmth but then I start feeling desolated, not because the sun is about to set but because a strong realization hits me, hits me really hard.
The realization of ditching darkness right from the start of the day. We get up, ditch the darkness in front of our eyes, from our room amd throughout the day just because we always need light and we never fail to appreciate brightness. But who knows that darkness is beauty too? The sun provides us light and heat but what if there was no darkness? Would we ever be able to experience the beauty of our very own satellite, the Moon and those uncountable twinkling stars?
What if there was never a dark colour like black? We wouldn’t be able to enjoy those glitters and the sexiness of black colour in our materailistic things.
And those 3 am talks? The very own time of writers, artists and thinkers wouldn’t be so magical without darkness.
Also when a beam of light enters a dark room, the darkness supports it intensity making it look beautiful and brighter which also remains neglected.
Living in a society like ours, we always get attracted towards and appreciate fairness wherein we overlook the beauty that lies beneath duskiness and brown colour.
And even after the day ends constantly ditching darkness, it finds it’s way through the night and supports us through our dreams.
Lastly, the darkest souls are the only souls which have experienced the most of our living and still shine through the worst phases. These souls sometimes remains buried in dark because it takes a pure sophisticated soul to find beauty in darkness and one who truly believes that “Dark is the new bright”

The chapter of LOVE.

LOVE, it’s never created.
You cannot force it upon someone.
People will love you, or they won’t but you just can’t impose it.
You cannot win it by competing.
The girl who’s love you’re trying to get, can’t be won by putting more (extra) efforts than his lover.
You cannot try and ignite the spark of love and expect it to turn into fire for you.
The fire of love needs constant energy supply, give it or watch it extinguish.

LOVE, it cannot be destroyed
Ever searched for the love you once gave to your ex companion? Go, give it a try. It’s hiding deep into the core of your pumping heart afraid of the world’s constant heartbreak and disappointment.
As said in a quote “You never stop loving someone, you just stop showing it”, love truly defines eternity.

LOVE, it is a form of energy.
And if you ask me, can you love two person at the same time? I would say, why not!
Strange? Not at all.
Maybe not with the same potency, but surely with the aim of making people feel good about themselves!
And isn’t it the very sole purpose of love?

But like others LOVE contradicts itself too. Even though it is a form of energy it’s not distributed, it can never be.
Just remember, the love you experience by a person belongs to you as a whole, it cannot be partitioned and given to others. Neither can anyone steal or replace the love you experience. It’s just a whole personlised box of feelings gifted by someone which is unique for everyone. And the moment people fail to realise this fact is where people flunk in the process of learning the chapter of LOVE.

Beauty undefined.

What is beauty?
A three word question and maybe a million sets of answers. Ever wondered why? Because every creature on this planet wishes to be every other creature’s definition of beautiful. Each person on this planet is brought with a different set of features and that in itself is truly beautiful, because such an amazing artist the Creator would be to design a new pattern of beauty in each person.
In today’s world we humans fail to aprreciate this effort of the Creator and try to be what other think of as “beauty”. This fact has tremendously helped the producers of beauty products expand their business. And that’s a shame in itself.
We all have been criticized by someone for the imperfections we have and the way we perceive it destroys it all. Because we think our imperfections are our flaws when they are our real beauty spot.
When we’re stuck on a particular person’s definition of beauty and try to change ourselves according to them, we fail to consent the fact that we’re missing out on those amazing persons, places and situations for which we’re perfectly carved. We run behind the things we’re not meant for leaving behind the things we’re made for showing the true sign of ungratefulness. And that eventually prevents us from self acceptance while leading to the issue of self hatred which we’re unaware of.
How I wish everyone knew, we’re all beautiful in our own way, in our own frame, just fail to accept it in our own heart and mind. Beauty remains undefined.